I am graduating in a month!!!!!!!!! And oh yeah The President of the United States is speaking at my commencement!!!!! I mean seriously no matter what your political ideology is, it is pretty damn cool to have the President speak....i mean what are the chances!!
So Doug lost his job about 6 weeks ago and there has been absolutely nothing out there on the horizon...it has been an interesting ride. A friend told me that these are the best times because a miracle is coming...well, i am still waiting for the miracle...it better be a good one and i mean really good. But seriously, who am i to complain, there are plenty in much worse shape who need the miracles more than we. I hope that there are plenty of miracles to go around (i truly hope).
Divorce...my thoughts...totally selfish, weak and unnecessary. I am holding nothing back, in my book there are only two good reasons to obtain one...serious spousal/child abuse or infidelity that is repeated. Any other reason is purely selfish. And i believe with every fiber of my being that Satan literally cheers every time a person succumbs to the temptation to leave. A person can tell themselves that they are doing the right thing because it will be better for the kids, but that is a huge load of CRAPOLA. Believe me i see so many kids with broken homes and it is NEVER better. This is just something people tell themselves to rationalize what they instinctively know is wrong. I could also show you tons of research about the affects of divorce on children but that would take way longer than this blog. But what really gets me is that people who do this thing never take responsibility for their own actions...it takes 2 people...however, 1 person seems to take all the blame for the whole kit and kaboodle. if you are going to do this at least be honest...at least take the responsibility where it is warranted and whatever you do STOP using the kids as pawns in your selfishness.
Loss and Grief...well, on this subject i have found that in obvious cases of loss such as a death, people are generally willing to cut you some slack in dealing with the fallout. But loss of a job, spouse (due to divorce), family connections, friendships these things are just life right? Yes, it is life but all these things elicit grief. I have been mired in grief for a long time and frankly, i am just now acknowledging it. Having school and a schedule and somewhere to be has been my saving grace. While I can't wait to be free of the "Ball and Chain" of school I am scared to be out there without the blessing of a schedule because i know all too well the despair that can come without warning or respite. So I am hoping for a job soon.
OK so I think that pretty much gets you up to speed on my totally random thoughts, that are my totally random LIFE. if you care to comment i would love to know your totally random thoughts on anything at all...JUST SPEAK
5 comments:
Hey Lynn,
I love your random thoughts and I miss you. Why is it when we get released from calling we don't talk to those people anymore? UGH.
That is so exciting about Obama coming to speak... WOW....
Graduating and everything - you're my hero... all that work paid off and how great it will feel to have it finished!
You Rock...
~Krista
Thanks Krista--I think because i am in the Primary i just don't even see anyone anymore!! Plus this last semester has been brutal and completely time consuming! we should just plan a girls night out! I miss you too. I hope life is treating you well--See you soon?!
Lynn - the fact is life just STINKS sometimes! I have always tried so hard to have FAITH, a good attitude and a smile - but a few months ago as I was being "hit upside the head" faster than I could recover I let my struggles take me down! It was a horrible place to be and has taken me months to forgive myself for giving up and losing faith. I *thought* I was better prepared and a better person than that.
As I have been climbing out I have actually grown stronger, learned that the ONLY way to have true faith is to totally submit my life to the Savior. I have learned the best faith is *blind* faith. I can't tell you how many times the past few weeks I've had to just TRUST in Him and remember that He knows me better than anyone else. He knows my future and what I need. ONLY HE can know just exactly "what needs to happen" and "what will happen."
It hasn't been easy, but it has been freeing and I've had some of the sweetest spiritual experiences I've ever had. My love and faith for my Father in Heaven and Savior has grown far more than I ever thought it could.
(Gosh, this is way too long! I'm sorry!) Anyway, I know I am not telling you anything you don't already know or probably have already learned! But I want you to know that I love you! You are in my prayers and I know YOU CAN DO IT! We can get through this and be stronger for it! Something special IS ahead! And we are going to be there to bask in the joy! I love you!
Thank you Diane, I know this has been a particularly trying time for many people. I appreciate your comments and believe me, I know what you are saying is true. I too have a deep and abiding love of our Savior. I have tremendous faith in the atonement. I know something is around the corner i just wish i knew what it was! But like you said "blind" faith will get us through. I love you too and yes WE can do it!!
you know I love your guts. I wish I was there to hang out with you- but you know I'm always here whenever you need anything. Well, except for like you know a brain or something.... yours is better than mine anyway.... oh oh and a cute pair of shoes because I love you and stuff- but I'm not sharing.... oh and ice cream- I don't share that either.... hmmm- yeah pretty much anything else- just give me a call...
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